What men want!

Published On: Mar 07 2012 09:37:00 PM EST

Dating: it takes 20 minutes or less for most singles to decide if they want to see you again after the first date.

"If they just kept talking and talking and talking about nothing interesting, I wouldn’t call them back," says one man.

"Definitely don’t want to meet someone on the first night and find out their family is crazy," another man says.

"We don’t want to hear about your ex-boyfriend and all the horrible or fantastic things that he did for you. We want you to be interested in us and what we’re going to do for you," another man adds.

What else do they want? Dating expert Sharan Richardson of It’s Just Lunch says a woman with a nice smile tops a recent survey.

"The other thing that might surprise ladies is they do not care for plastic surgery," says Richardson.

First dates are about leaving your best impression, so leave the negativity at home.

"Resist the urge to talk about on the first date how you hate your boss or negative things," warns Richardson.

Instead, keep things positive and sincere.  "Like a nice sincere compliment really breaks the ice and you know what, be a little bit vulnerable so that person feels comfortable opening up as well," says Richardson.

Once you're past date one, there are a few things men wish you knew to navigate dates two and beyond.  "It’s okay for you to be a woman. It’s okay to let me open the door for you. Let me pay for a meal you know," says Brian says.

"They try to make things way too complicated," Dave adds.

"Just give us our space," says Ryan.

And while many men do like the thrill of the chase. 

"If they have to go on a safari just to get your attention, you’re making them work too hard. If you’re waiting three days to return their phone calls and playing little games like that, I don’t suggest that," Richardson said.

"Most men probably just put on a front for the most part. Most of them are nice guys deep down inside. We’re just looking for someone we can trust, loyalty, honesty those types of things," explains Chris.

Know too that good relationships take time. 

"Don’t try to force it and don’t try to move too fast. You know don’t go on a great date and stop looking at other people and stop meeting other people. Because you don’t know where that’s going to go," says Richardson.

A new University of Texas study finds the more attractive the woman, the more a man thinks she is interested in him, while women, on the other hand, often underestimate men’s desire for them.

Before you go on a first date it is important to ask yourself what you are looking to gain out of the date. It is also a good idea to keep communication open with your date and gauge out what they are looking for without being too forward.

Dating 101:  First impressions are especially important on a first date, so make sure you are well groomed and well dressed. Most girls still appreciate chivalry so guys be prepared to pay. Smiling and having a good attitude will also make the date more comfortable and enjoyable for both parties.

Dos & Don'ts:  There are a few things that will make a date run into your arms, or away from them. Here are a few tips that datingtips.com has gathered to help a girl or guy snag that special someone.

Do:

  • Be on time
  • Laugh
  • Take things slow
  • Make your date feel special

Don't:

  • Talk about your ex's
  • Be pushy
  • Over analyze your date
  • Avoid checking out other people

Deal breakers?  When you are on a first date or even after dating awhile, there are some things that will make your date squirm or run. Having bad breath, being overweight, or rude rank high on the turn-off level, but may not be a deal breaker. Surprisingly, according to It's Just Lunch when singles were asked what their biggest deal breaker was on a first date, almost half said a lack of shared interest was what made them least likely to call back for a second date.

Get your flirt on!  When guys and girls were asked what made them most interested on a date, they answered with feeling comfortable or having chemistry as a front runner. To show you're interested, don't be afraid to touch by lightly brushing shoulders or touching arms. Body language and enthusiasm are a great way to show you're interested and help your date feel more comfortable.

(SOURCE: www.eharmony.com, www.itsjustlunch.com).

Comments

The views expressed below are not those of News4Jax or its affiliated companies. By clicking on "Post," you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and your comment is in compliance with such terms. Readers, please help keep this discussion respectful and on topic by flagging comments that are offensive or inappropriate (hover over the commenter's name and you'll see the flag option appear on right side of that line). And remember, respect goes both ways: Tolerance of others' opinions is important in a free discourse. If you're easily offended by strong opinions, you might skip reading comments entirely.

blog comments powered by Disqus