CHAPEL HILL, North Carolina – One in four Americans is suffering with a mental health disorder. About half of those will seek treatment. For those, therapy can help a person explore their inner thoughts and feelings; but how do you know if you have a good psychotherapist? Perhaps more importantly, how do you know when you don't?
When Nicole Todd began seeing a therapist for depression, she thought she was in good hands.
Recommended Videos
"I trusted him completely," Todd said. "I was dazzled by him."
However, the lines of therapy quickly became blurred. After three sessions, her therapist told her he loved her.
"My family would go out to dinner with him, him and his wife. Todd explained. "I was thinking this is delicious, here I have this secret relationship that no one knows about."
Months passed and her feelings grew.
"I felt like we were dating," she said. "We would talk about possible sexual encounters [and] he would tell me about his sex life in a very detailed way."
Shortly after the relationship became sexual, her therapist ended it abruptly, devastating Todd.
"I'd been exploited and manipulated by someone I trusted to help me," she explained.
Samantha Meltzer-Brody, MD, Psychiatrist, UNC Health Care, said violations like this are always the fault of the therapist.
"If the boundaries aren't in place it can be extremely damaging," Meltzer-Brody said.
To safeguard against that, Meltzer-Brody said to first check with the state licensing board to make sure you're dealing with a professional.
"Anyone can call themselves a therapist," she explained.
Next, she said, social invitations are inappropriate.
"It doesn't matter if you think they'd make a great friend [or] if you think you'd like to date them," Dr. Meltzer-Brody said.
She warned that therapy is about you and not about listening to your therapist's problems.
"This is an enormous sign that you should get up and leave immediately," she explained.
Signs Todd won't ignore again.
Experts say any signs of a relationship moving from a professional one to a romantic one, is a huge red flag and needs to be reported to your state's licensing board immediately. Todd filed complaints against her therapist and his license was revoked.
The Red Flags
Consumers are looking for professionals they can trust. Therapists value the trust of their patients. When this mutual trust is violated by sexual exploitation, everyone loses. The patient loses an opportunity for improved health and becomes a victim. The therapist stops being a healer and becomes a victimizer. The profession itself loses when the good reputation of the many is diminished by the illegal conduct of a few. The items listed below are significant red flags and important information for anyone in therapy or considering therapy. If any of the following red flags appear during the course of your counseling, it may be time to reevaluate your counselor or therapist.
- Counselor does not have sufficient and specific training to address your issues and/or attempts to treat problems outside the scope of the practice.
- Therapist provides no explanation of how you will know when your therapy is complete.
- Counselor does not seek consultation with other therapists.
- Therapist makes guarantees and/or promises.
- Therapist has unresolved complaints filed with their licensing board.
- Therapist does not provide you with information about your rights as a client, confidentiality, office policies, and fees so you can fairly consent to your treatment. Note: The information provided to new clients by therapists differs by state and licensure requirements.
- Counselor is judgmental or critical of your behavior, lifestyle, or problems.
- Therapist "looks down" at you or treats you as inferior in subtle or not so subtle ways.
- Counselor encourages you to blame your family, friends, or partner.
- Counselor tries to be your friend.
- Therapist initiates touch (i.e., hugs) without your consent.
- Counselor tries to enlist your help with something not related to your therapy.
- Counselor tells you the identities of his or her other clients.
For a complete list, visit http://www.goodtherapy.org/